Posted by Manfred Tham
I actually had planned this story out a long time ago. It was drafted around the same time as By The Light but I never got around to actually writing it as I knew I had to get into this particularly mood to compose it. Which is to say emo but not self-pitying. Which just happened to be today. So now straight from the Forge of CyborgCommunist’s mind, Staind Uniforms, a short angsty Yuri story for 2 High School girls.
Part of the inspiration of the story was also my own thoughts on such issues of sexuality. This was great fun to write and it was hard for me to end it as I wanted to.
I reccomend listening to this as before you read. It’s a beautiful song and it sets the mood rather well in my opinion. I was listening to this as I wrote anyway.
The bitingly chilly autumn wind tussled Erin’s long hair, the tips of them tickling her clenched hand. In her grip, there was another’s hand. Harumi shivered slightly as the wind once again blew past her and Erin.
Harumi moved closer to Erin and gripped her arm with her other hand, snuggling closer to Erin for warmth and comfort as they stood on the school’s roof. The gusts of wind finally died down and all was still on the roof again, the only sounds made by the still rustling leaves scattered on the rooftop.
Harumi laid her head on Erin’s shoulder and looked up at her face. Her face was angelic to her, almost elfin in shape up to her slightly pointy ears. Her red hair framed her head and the zephyrs lightly swirled the ends. In the light cast by the setting Sun, Erin appeared as a fiery, red-headed Angel to Harumi. However, her visage was marred by the tears that ran from her green eyes down her cheeks. Harumi brought her finger up to her eyes as well but she already knew would find tears there as well.
Erin wiped her tears away furiously with the cuff of her school uniform’s sleeve and looked at Harumi, still sniffling but still trying to look strong. However, as she made eye contact with Harumi’s gold-flecked eyes, she broke into tears again. Harumi quickly held the back of her head and hugged her firmly, their foreheads touching. Harumi quietly murmured “Why are you crying Erin? I’m the one that’s supposed to be sad.” Erin once again wiped her tears away and looked at Harumi and said resolutely “It’s because I love you! If you’re sad, I’m sad too!” Harumi wiped a tear away with her finger and smiled, replying “But you’re supposed to be stronger than me. And you’re also the Student Council President. It’ won’t bode well if the other students saw you in tears; holding onto me.” Her emphasis seemed to be on the “me”. Erin looked straight into Harumi’s eyes with such resolve that it caused Harumi to shrink slightly before saying “I don’t care about them. They’re not my girlfriend. You are, Harumi.”
Harumi slowly shook her head, her eyes filling with tears again as she said “But me being bullied is not really your problem. I can deal with it myself. You’re busy as the President and I don’t want to give you any more trouble.” Immediately, Erin seemed to regain some of her fire and responded quickly, pushing up Harumi’s head with her hand before pressing her lips to hers, eyes clenched shut. Harumi jolted in surprise before the numbing sweetness of the kiss relaxed her. Erin pulled back and said to Harumi “As I said, I don’t care. You’re my girlfriend, so what bothers you bothers me too.” Those words visibly moved Harumi as more tears streaked down her cheeks. She choked before she mumbled “But you can’t do anything about the bullying. Or about the fact I’m ostracized in class…”
Harumi had a reputation in their all-girls high school. When she was a first year in school, she had fallen for a female upperclassman and had finally gathered her courage to pass her a confession letter. But she had not expected her crush to publicly humiliate her and to show her friends the letter. The letter eventually found its way to the school’s notice board and the knowledge spread throughout the school that Harumi was actually a lesbian. Shortly after, she became ostracized by her class and was called all forms of slangs by others, be it in class or when they pass her by in the hallways. Now in her second year, she was treated as she had been since her confession, her hopes that the incident would be forgotten dashed. However, one the first day of her second year, Harumi had gotten to know Erin when Erin helped her to her feet after she slipped and fell. Erin was a third-year and was known throughout the school as being beautiful and a model student. No one in the student body was particularly surprised when she was voted as the Student Council President.
However, from that incident onwards, Harumi had slowly felt an attraction to Erin. Her beauty and kindness once again warmed Harumi’s cold dead heart. Erin also did not seem to mind being with Harumi, declaring that she did not care for the rumors even if they were true, a fact Harumi was glad to learn about. However, many in the school began noticing that Harumi was spending a lot of time with Erin and began creating new rumors about her, that she was trying to seduce the Student Council President. Particularly, Erin’s fans were venomous towards her and began bullying her. Harumi quickly became introverted again and drew away from Erin, even skipping school on occasions.
However, one day after school just as Harumi had left the library where she loved to hide in and read, Erin had searched for Harumi and asked her to join her in the Student Council room as she required some assistance. Harumi had a great sense of trepidation as she had entered and began panicking when Erin had slammed the door shut after she entered. But Harumi found out that the room was empty and not full of her persecutors as she had feared. What was even more surprising was that Erin had grabbed Harumi’s shoulders and kissed her where she stood. When their lips finally parted, Erin had confessed to Harumi whilst sobbing. She had been exasperated when she found out Harumi had skipped school for a week and had desperately sought to find her. She had feared the worst, which was that Harumi had acted upon all her grief and sadness. Harumi was still stunned by the time Erin had finished pouring out her emotions and had nearly forgotten to accept Erin’s confession, to which Erin kissed her again.
They had only been going for a month when someone from the school had caught them kissing in Erin’s classroom after classes. The knowledge of this had spread like wildfire throughout the student body till all the girls knew about it, even the teachers. Practically overnight, Harumi had begun to be bullied to a larger extent, even having been physically hit by some girls. Erin had been furious when she found out from Harumi what was happening to her but she also knew that she could not use her position to do much about the situation. But she had tried nonetheless, publicly declaring to a group of girls that she was the one who had confessed to Harumi when she protected her from them.
Erin had hoped such words from her would stop Harumi’s treatment by the other students and that they would be accepted. However, it did not work out the way she wanted to as soon after; a new rumor had spread that Harumi seduction had worked so well that Erin actually thought she was in love with Harumi.
It was not long before everyone began treating both of them differently. The teachers also began treating them differently and had even contacted their parents. Being a Catholic school, they had offered their parents counseling for their daughter. When Erin had found out from her mum that such had occurred, she had been livid with anger and had stormed off to find Harumi, which was how they now stood on the school’s roof.
Erin looked to Harumi, tears gathering in her eyes again before she asked of her “Why won’t they accept us? It’s not like we’re doing anything wrong! Isn’t what we have also love? Even our parents don’t accept us!” Erin turned away from Harumi and yelled a question to the skies. “Why won’t they accept us?” Erin breathed heavily and looked at her feet, tears striking the concrete at her feet. She once again muttered her question, so softly that Harumi could barely hear it. Harumi slowly reached across and lifted Erin’s head to look at her and wiped away her tears with her handkerchief. Harumi opened her mouth as if wanting to speak but she choked on the words she wanted to say. She looked away before turning back and blurted “Erin, maybe we should stay away from each other!” before she too broke into tears. Erin’s face clearly showed her shock at Harumi’s words and she gripped her shoulders tightly and demanded “But why! I love you Harumi!” Harumi looked back at Erin and said “I love you too. But because I love you, I can’t stand to see you in pain. I know that others also look down on you know and call you names. I don’t want you to go through what I’m going through!” Erin sniffled again and she yelled “But if you love me, you’ll want to stay with me! I’ll be in even more pain if you abandon me Harumi.” As she gasped from the strain of shouting, the wind picked up again, rustling their red checkered skirts and hair.
Harumi lifted her Erin’s head up once more and kissed her firmly. Erin wrapped her arms around Harumi and held her close, their lips pressed firmly against each other’s. A minute passed before they parted, their mouths open as they panted lightly. Harumi caught be breath first and she rested her head on Erin’s shoulder. She quietly asked Erin “But if we don’t want to part, what can we do?” Erin also brought her head down and rested her on Harumi’s. She replied as she stroked Harumi’s auburn hair. “I don’t know either. But I do know one thing. There’s no way we’ll be accepted anywhere we go. Society just can’t do that.”
Hearing those words, Harumi snuggled closer to Erin to hide her tears but Erin could still hear her stifled sobs. It was a while before either of them spoke. Harumi was the first to break the silence. “I hate it.” Erin looked down at Harumi when those words filled with vehemence were uttered. “I hate it. How others treat me. How they treat you. How they treat us. It’s like you said. I don’t know why they won’t accept us, why they won’t let us be.” As she spoke, the memories returned to Harumi. The times when the girls had laughed at they pulled at her hair and uniform. The smirk on their faces as they called out to her in slang. Their heartless actions and their looks of self-righteousness as they bullied her.
Erin continued stroking Harumi’s hair as tears flowed down their cheeks. She knew Harumi was a strong girl to have endured all her pain and still having found the will to smile for her. It was heartbreaking to finally see her break down in tears and pour out her real emotions. Erin looked up at the darkening skies and eventually muttered “It’s unfair isn’t it? That we can’t be together even though we love each other so much. They still strive to pull us apart.” Silence descended again. This time, Harumi spoke through her tears, her face still buried in Erin’s shoulder. “Maybe we can only be together somewhere else.”
Erin was shocked by those words and quickly looked down at Harumi, surprised when she was met with Harumi’s golden irises. “What are you suggesting Harumi? That we run away?”
Harumi’s eyes closed slightly and she looked away. “Not even that would work, would it?” Those words, spoken through all her grief and anguish, utterly shattered Erin’s heart. She never knew the depth of Harumi’s pain till now. Erin desperately tried to think of an answer and gasped when she finally realized the only remaining solution. She lowered her head and whispered into Harumi ear. “Maybe it was intended to be this way. Perhaps we can only be together in death. I Love you too much to part from you and to leave you alone. Maybe there is a Heaven after all.” Harumi turned away and slowly considered Erin’s words. However, she made seemed to have made up her mind quickly and replied Erin. “I don’t mind. I feel the same as you. I don’t want to leave you alone without me. And even if we don’t go to Heaven, at least we still have the times we spent together.”
Erin pushed Harumi away and held her at arm’s length, staring straight at her face. Erin said “I know I’ve told you this countless times Harumi, but I really love you. I’m glad I met you. Even if we die and there is nothing else after, I’m still happy I met you. Thank you for loving me.” Harumi began tearing again and she smiled as she replied. “Thank you too Erin, for being kind me. For accepting me. And for loving me.”
Hand in hand, Erin and Harumi walked to the edge of the roof and looked down. Down below, they saw the particular pink rose bush which was planted just outside the Student Council room. Both of them smiled at the coincidence and also at how apt it seemed. Harumi got closer to Erin again and asked her for one more kiss. Erin bent down and obliged, pressing her lips to Harumi’s.
The final rays of the Sun illuminated their final moments on the roof; lips pressed to each other’s, their hands clasped tightly, fingers intertwined. As the wind picked up on again, blowing the dry leaves around the roof, they were already gone.
About Manfred ThamManfred can typically be found hiding from people behind his computer screen or a tall pint. However you can easily contact him in any given video game where he will either insult you or be really nice to you. In addition his nerdiness transcends the digital plane when he partakes in the arcane rituals of rolling dice in both table-top and board games. Disregarding the countless hours he has logged into games, Manfred loves nothing more than cooking food to satisfy his craving for Northern European cuisine or to sip away from the many bottles of whiskies he fondly defaults to. Manfred is also what is commonly known as a “metalhead” with a penchant for both symphonic and power metal. Manfred summarises his life philosophy with a quote by Samuel L.Jackson, but it has been redacted for being far too vulgar.
Posted on March 29, 2012, in Otaku-ism, Writing and tagged Angst, Black Hair, Brown Eyes, Bullying, Depressing, Erin and Harumi, Green Eyes, high school, Red Hair, Short Story, Suicide, yuri. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.